Hi Folks!!
I hope you're all doing great. My UK people, hope you've been enjoying the lovely weather! We all know how temperamental it is over here, so we've got grab it when we can!
I know I'm a very inconsistent blogger. There are many reasons for this. One of them is I have periods of feeling down and I don't want to bring all that negativity here too often. A colleague who has recently discovered my blog was commenting on what she'd seen so far. We had a little chat about my inconsistency. She encouraged me to just be free. She sited a few blogs she follows where she's seen bloggers blog their ebbs and flows of life. I won't always feel negative and things will eventually work out. So, with that said, here's my current state of mind.
Sometimes I worry. I worry that this is all there is to my life. I worry that my boy will grow up, leave home and I'll be an old spinster (really, real thoughts). All alone with no companion apart from my son's wife and kids (and extended family of course - see how crazy these thoughts are? I'm alone, but not alone - but you get my drift right? I hope you do. Lol).
Sometimes I worry that I am actually not that bright. Things happen and I do silly things and think "woah! That was dumb!". Hey, don't mock me, I'm just being real.
Sometimes I worry that I'm stuck and this is my lot. No more, no less. Just this. Obviously these kinds of thoughts can bring a person down.
I stray away from God every now and then for one reason or other. But a re-occurring reason is because I just don't think I'm worth the bother. I failed Him so many times (and in the same areas, over and over again). So I tell myself there are others more worthy of His time. (These are real thoughts!!! Mind your thoughts people!!!) Of course that is a LIE!
Well, tonight in the midst of my worry I turned to Him. Decided not to wait for Sunday to hear from Him. Decided not to wait until Pastor preaches the right word into my situation. I looked to Him (from whence cometh my help. right?). I picked up my smart phone, opened up my Bible App and typed in "worry" in the search bar. Fifty-four scriptures popped up. I'm guessing He knew we'd be doing a heck of a lot of worrying.
Well, my scripture of choice, or rather the one that caught my attention was/is:
Luke 12:24-28
(24) Look at the ravens. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! (25) Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? (26) And if worry can't accomplish a little thing like that, what's the use of worrying over bigger things? (27) Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. (28) And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
So with that said, if you're like me, stop worrying. Leave it in God's care and get on with living in the now. Enjoy your life and stop worrying. (This is also a note to self!).
So there, I just shared another ebb. The next post has to be a flow ;)
Enjoy the rest of your week!
Buki xox
I think the ebbs are just as important as the flows.. It makes you more 'real'.. Thanks for sharing a bit more of yourself with us.. The truth is that everyone is going through 'stuff' but only the brave talk about it and are open about it.. I loved the honesty of this post! xxxx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Appreciate your encouragement. I know, everybody goes through things. We all need an outlet I guess. This serves as mine. x
Delete@Bukky, you worrying too much! Look at the birds of the sky, God feeds them. You just never know tomorrow and worrying about it is a waste of time. You might meet someone even before the end of this year, or even next year. You one strong lady, you have been through a lot and I promise you that tomorrow is going to be different from today.., don't let anything lead you to thinking those negative thoughts, they are not from God., also no body has it all easy in life, you single and out of a bad marriage, l tell you ...you are better than those who stayed in an abusive marriage and got killed, you can use this phase of your life to discover your true self to the fullest, and when you do just that, you might just meet that nice man who will love you right and be a good father to your son as well.
ReplyDeleteI wish could give you a hug from here, just keep doing you, being you, just because you felt this way today means tomorrow will be like that,...for we all have bad days sometimes where we think of life and feel bad, but don't ever give up on trusting trust God, he will take care of YOU and sees tomorrow with his own eyes!
Awww, thank you so much Destiny! Amen to your prayers! God bless you! I am feeling much more positive about the future! Thanks honey. ***Cyber hugs***
DeleteOne thing I know is God loves you. You are special to Him. You are worthy of being loved. He died for you, specially. When bad thoughts come, don't romance it. Shut it out immediately. It might be difficult at first, but its about making a conscious decision.
ReplyDeleteBut remember this, God loves you.... especially.
Thank you so much @ilola! Amen and amen! God bless you! xx
Delete